Friend dating sister
What a therapist does is ask you leading questions and radiate non-judgement until you’ve talked your way through all your own defenses and circular bullshit and tried to turn things into entertaining anecdotes and try to convince yourself that “it’s not that bad” until you run out of excuses and you have to say the truth: What you want. That seems crazy counter-intuitive and I can feel those words turning to ashes in your mouth, but this is why I suggest them: Controlling people make their victims second-guess everything.
Since they’re talking about matrimony I’m guessing the first one, but it’s not 100% certain and can even oscillate from day to day or even moment to moment. I can write the scene from the movie right now where me-as-therapist would Hulk out: “OH GOD BREAK UP BREAK UP NOW. “You already know how I feel.” “I want to be supportive, but this story makes me uncomfortable.” “You already know how I feel, so why are you telling me this?
Please give me the magic-spell-words to make him see this and dump him.
Or else the fortitude to watch him marry this creep. I mean – He can’t hang, and he doesn’t treat my friend well.
There’s kind of a test for this that’s also the way to cope with this. ” And if you can find it in your heart, maybe try this: “I don’t like him, and I still don’t get it, but if you are happy then I trust you.” By which I mean…. Maybe Darth Vader has some rough edges but is really kind and funny in ways you don’t see.
When your friend tells you another story about Darth (or makes excuses for crappy behavior), answer like a therapist would: Don’t talk much, and when you do, ask only questions. Maybe the things he does activate your own personal peeves and triggers that you assumed your friend shares but it turns out he doesn’t and the things don’t bug him the same way.
They’ve only been together for three months, but they just moved in together and are already planning a wedding.